The time is 5:23 pm and this is the first blog entry of this month. I have not posted here in a while, but now I feel compelled to post.
For the past few weeks, I believe that this has been a period of trials, and my heart for God has been tested. The trials have come in the form of busyness, and I have also been trying to learn more about myself and who I am in Christ. None of this may make sense because this is coming straight from my brain and my heart.
Lately, so many things have come up such as, tests, ministry, school work, support raising, and conference preparation. I have been swamped with obligations, and it feels as though my heart for God has been tested. It is so easy to forget what God has put on your heart or what He wants you to do when daily chores come up. And for the past few weeks, the flame in my heart for God and the gospel has been put under strain it seems. But yesterday, it felt as though my heart was renewed for the work he has set out before me. Yesterday morning during quiet time, I prayed to God and asked him to damn my fears, my complacency, my pride, my uncaring attitude, my reputation, and to give me the boldness to live for Him. I then got dressed and left the dorm with the mind set of serving God, mainly through witnessing to anyone that I could because that's what God has put on my heart!!!!!!!!! My heart was filled with compassion and I could not help but feel a overwhelming love for those around me! I got the opportunity to share the gospel with someone from my economics class, and later that day I tried to share with a guy on the bus, but he rejected me. Afterwards, joy just flooded me as I continued to look around on the bus for someone that I could talk to. I felt totally renewed!
I've also been doing alot of reflecting and asking myself... who am I????? I've been looking at who I am in Christ, examining my own personality closely, and even comparing it to what it was in high school. Lately, I have been exposed to more leadership responsibilities and that has caused me to look at my personality and who I am in Christ with respect to leadership.... hehe does that make sense? I have concluded that I'm definitely not gifted or skilled as a leader ehhhh..... I always make mistakes! But I believe that God is trying to grow me as one and is using mistakes to teach me how to be a leader, and this process is not easy because it is exposing personal pride, and I am very critical of myself! And I usually come down alittle hard on myself when I know that I could have done something better (Bad sentence structure I know..). So, with regards to examining my personality, I have found that I'm on the introverted side and usually in large groups I'm not very vocal . I'm always reminded of this in large group settings such as home group or hang out times. I have always been like this since I can remember, but what's cool is that I feel like God wants to use me to say alot to others and encourage them. I also feel this supernatural burden to spread the gospel verbally, although, I'm not a trained, eloquent, or constant speaker. I want to shout from the roof tops!
I have more to say, but until next time..
By the way, the reason that I write this blog is because I have alot of thoughts that I usually don't share very much, so I type what's inside of me.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
The Fire Inside and Outreach thoughts.
The time is 3:10 p.m.
I woke up this morning at about 8:00 am and had a quiet time. Afterwards, I went to church. For the past few days, I've been looking inside and pondering about the fire inside of my heart for God and the gospel. It's there, it's burning, and it's real! But it's hard to channel it into something that is practical and hands on. Not sure how I can put this but, it seems that all around this campus there are people who are gospel resistant I guess.... those who have been exposed to the good news before and maybe many many times, and there are even believers who don't seem to care so much for one reason or another. Of course, there are those who don't quite know, but what about those who do know and are extremely harden to the gospel? This can be a challenge, even if you are gung ho about the spread of the good news. I know that I'm not the only one who has been wrestling with this situation, but I think we can shed some light on how to actually spread the gospel with some fruit I guess... eh. It seems that in other places in the east such as India and China, you hear about multitudes of people coming to Christ within a short period of time, but here in America, the number of born again believers is hardly growing at all! Now right now I am not sure where I'm going with this because my mind is now an open platter, so bear with me, heheheheheeheh. This is a complex yet simple subject! Why do our outreach efforts here seem so ineffective? Here's where it can get very cloudy, but here is what I think.
We have strayed away from the biblical way of outreach. Today, we don't see God's hand in our witnessing attempts as much as should I believe. As I mentioned before, multitudes of people in the east have been coming to Christ for the past 50 years or so....millions!!!!!! There have been tons and tons of miracles also, which has been a powerful witness of the truth of the gospel in Asia. But here, we don't see tons of people coming to the Lord and we don't see very many miracles. Now I could go on and on with thoughts, but I'm going to make this short. I believe we must rely on God when it comes to spreading the gospel, not social events, not our own intellect, and not even our own personalities or kindness!! Look at the books of Acts, the gospel spread like wildfire because when people spoke, God confirmed his truth with His power and presence. There weren't apologetical arguments like we have today because the Lords hand was on there efforts. We must cry out to God and plead with Him to change the hearts of men whether we know them or not! I believe that we have made the mistake of taking the matters into our own hands when it comes to outreach, and as a result we have not seen very many lives transformed by the gospel. I think that we need to go back to the pattern of Acts even it does seem like it won't fit into this culture! God will fight for us if we let Him, step out on faith!!!!!!!!
If you want to really getting a glimpse of how God is moving in Asia check out the newsletter archive on www.asiaharvest.org.
I woke up this morning at about 8:00 am and had a quiet time. Afterwards, I went to church. For the past few days, I've been looking inside and pondering about the fire inside of my heart for God and the gospel. It's there, it's burning, and it's real! But it's hard to channel it into something that is practical and hands on. Not sure how I can put this but, it seems that all around this campus there are people who are gospel resistant I guess.... those who have been exposed to the good news before and maybe many many times, and there are even believers who don't seem to care so much for one reason or another. Of course, there are those who don't quite know, but what about those who do know and are extremely harden to the gospel? This can be a challenge, even if you are gung ho about the spread of the good news. I know that I'm not the only one who has been wrestling with this situation, but I think we can shed some light on how to actually spread the gospel with some fruit I guess... eh. It seems that in other places in the east such as India and China, you hear about multitudes of people coming to Christ within a short period of time, but here in America, the number of born again believers is hardly growing at all! Now right now I am not sure where I'm going with this because my mind is now an open platter, so bear with me, heheheheheeheh. This is a complex yet simple subject! Why do our outreach efforts here seem so ineffective? Here's where it can get very cloudy, but here is what I think.
We have strayed away from the biblical way of outreach. Today, we don't see God's hand in our witnessing attempts as much as should I believe. As I mentioned before, multitudes of people in the east have been coming to Christ for the past 50 years or so....millions!!!!!! There have been tons and tons of miracles also, which has been a powerful witness of the truth of the gospel in Asia. But here, we don't see tons of people coming to the Lord and we don't see very many miracles. Now I could go on and on with thoughts, but I'm going to make this short. I believe we must rely on God when it comes to spreading the gospel, not social events, not our own intellect, and not even our own personalities or kindness!! Look at the books of Acts, the gospel spread like wildfire because when people spoke, God confirmed his truth with His power and presence. There weren't apologetical arguments like we have today because the Lords hand was on there efforts. We must cry out to God and plead with Him to change the hearts of men whether we know them or not! I believe that we have made the mistake of taking the matters into our own hands when it comes to outreach, and as a result we have not seen very many lives transformed by the gospel. I think that we need to go back to the pattern of Acts even it does seem like it won't fit into this culture! God will fight for us if we let Him, step out on faith!!!!!!!!
If you want to really getting a glimpse of how God is moving in Asia check out the newsletter archive on www.asiaharvest.org.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
It continues..
It's been a while since I have posted here.... But today is my 20th birthday, lol. I feel like I'm getting old haha! Does this mean that I have to actually act older since I'm no longer a teenager?
Catching up.... I have recently changed my major, and I am no longer on the microbiology track! I am now on the religion track and so far it is pretty interesting!!! I've been warned about my future however by my family to really make sure that I want to do this because of job opportunites, but this decision was a leap of faith and I trust that God will use this some how. I came to this decision by examining my heart and what God has put on it. It is on my heart to serve God full time when I graduate college, and I was experiencing a growing discontentment with my previous major, so now I am doing religion.
The fire to spread the gospel still burns within my heart and it has played a role in my decision to change my major. This summer I am going to be involved in a church plant, and I am very excited.
This is all that I have for now, more soon to come.....
Catching up.... I have recently changed my major, and I am no longer on the microbiology track! I am now on the religion track and so far it is pretty interesting!!! I've been warned about my future however by my family to really make sure that I want to do this because of job opportunites, but this decision was a leap of faith and I trust that God will use this some how. I came to this decision by examining my heart and what God has put on it. It is on my heart to serve God full time when I graduate college, and I was experiencing a growing discontentment with my previous major, so now I am doing religion.
The fire to spread the gospel still burns within my heart and it has played a role in my decision to change my major. This summer I am going to be involved in a church plant, and I am very excited.
This is all that I have for now, more soon to come.....
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Done but not at rest.......
It has been a while since I have actually posted on my blog... hehehe. Hehe, and a certain someone predicted that I wouldn't be consistent with this blog.... (*Stares at screen with sinister look*) I'll show him.............
For the past few weeks things have been busy, and I have had alot on my mind, but I have been taking breaks during every chance that I get, and now I am done with exams lol. So I'll give the run down of what's been happening.
I've had a hand full of finals to study for and a couple of papers to write. I also have decided to apply for an internship with GCM, and that application was sent in yesterday. Since things have been busy, it seems that my passion for God has been stressed alittle bit, but with the testing, that leaves room for growth in faith. In the midst of my busy time, deep down inside I realized how much I want to give my life completely to God and how much of a passion I have for the gospel. In fact, I want to see a revival right here at the University of Florida.... I want to see many many people some to Christ here, so much that it flips this place upside down. This is on my heart, and I'm pressed with the question of "how does this get done?" "What do we need to be doing?" Even though I am finished with exams and have the opportunity to rest, the spirit within me is not at rest because of my thoughts on a revival. This is all that I will say about this subject for now...
This is the end of today's entry. This is just alittle bit of what I was thinking, but there is more that I will put up on a later date.
For the past few weeks things have been busy, and I have had alot on my mind, but I have been taking breaks during every chance that I get, and now I am done with exams lol. So I'll give the run down of what's been happening.
I've had a hand full of finals to study for and a couple of papers to write. I also have decided to apply for an internship with GCM, and that application was sent in yesterday. Since things have been busy, it seems that my passion for God has been stressed alittle bit, but with the testing, that leaves room for growth in faith. In the midst of my busy time, deep down inside I realized how much I want to give my life completely to God and how much of a passion I have for the gospel. In fact, I want to see a revival right here at the University of Florida.... I want to see many many people some to Christ here, so much that it flips this place upside down. This is on my heart, and I'm pressed with the question of "how does this get done?" "What do we need to be doing?" Even though I am finished with exams and have the opportunity to rest, the spirit within me is not at rest because of my thoughts on a revival. This is all that I will say about this subject for now...
This is the end of today's entry. This is just alittle bit of what I was thinking, but there is more that I will put up on a later date.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Boldness in Prayer/ Warning Godless men
11/28/05
The organization of this blog may be off, hehehe...
It is now 9:47 am, and I think it's alittle early to be typing this now, but with thoughts from this morning I just couldn't wait. I woke up early this morning and had a quiet time, and had some interesting thoughts about Godless men and Prayer! (By the way, the two subjects aren't linked in anyway.)
I started off reading Daniel Chapter 9 this morning and Daniel's prayer really popped out at me! I was intrigued by the way he prayed to God. Daniel completely humbled himself before God with fasting, sackcloth attire, and ashes. Daniel began to praise God for what He had done in the past, and also admitted his faults and the faults of his Countrymen! In addition to his humility, Daniel came boldly before God with requests on behalf of Israel! But what really got me was the fact that Daniel wasn't just plainly asking God for forgiveness of his countrymen...no... he was demanding it! He came before the creator of the universe demanding blessings!!! How cool is that? He was extremely humble in the process of it too, and God granted his request! When I think about this there seems to be a wave of irony associated with this! How can a mere man come before God with total confidence and demand blessings?! Lol. This is found specifically in Daniel 9:15-19. Prayer in this Fashion is also done by the believers in Acts 4:28-30, by the Lord Jesus Himself in John 17. There are more examples all over scripture, but those were some of the ones that came to mind immediately. Approach God's throne with boldness believing that he will answer! If God doesn't give us what we request, he may be telling us no, or wait, but I trust that it will make sense to the saint why God will not answer a prayer.
Afterwards I read some of the book of Jude, and again something caught my attention....Godless men!!! Jude 8-16 Talks about Unrighteous/Godless men and the judgement that will eventually come to them! I will make this short. Everyday we are surrounded by unrighteous Godless people, alot of us are close friends with them. Now the point I want to make is that we should warn these people of God's judgement... Yes! We should warn them, and this reminds me of Ezekiel 33:7-9. Following this warning, we should follow up with the truth of the gospel. Many people have been told that they are a sinner and that they are going to hell, and they have been greatly offended by this. I've run into individuals who were bitter towards Christians because someone has told them that. This is because the truth was not fully spoken and was not spoken in love! In reality the unbeliever may have been told that he or she is going to hell out of malice and cruelty or just plain coldness. We must speak the truth in love! While it is true that if someone is not trusting Christ they are headed for hell, but WE MUST TELL PEOPLE WHY!!! We must give them the whole truth, and the truth is that we are all transgressors of God's law. God does not overlook sin but instead, he must provide punishment for those sins. For the wages of sin is death. By no means will God let those who are not forgiven of their sins into heaven, and there are two places where one can only go after judgement! We must warn people of this and speak the truth in love followed by the gospel! Now by typing this, I am reminded of what I talked about with an acquaintance during my ride back down to Gainesville. Here is the Gist of the story......
I was in the car with a friend and his friend. I'll call him D. I opened up a spiritual conversation with D and he told me that he was an agnostic/athiest, then he told me that someone told him that he needed to repent or he was going to hell......ok....But then he proceeded to proclaim his goodness. He told me that he was no Hitler, he only stole once, he was honest MOST of the time, and that he stayed away from extreme stuff. Now what's wrong with this picture? Someone warned him of God's wrath, but he did not indicate that he knew why God would send someone to hell!!!!! D is like a blind man headed toward a cliff!!!!! He thinks he will be ok if there is a God when he is judged, but in reality he is not forgiven for his sin, and only through Jesus can he be forgiven!!! We must warn these people of God's wrath, but we must also tell them WHY they are headed for God's wrath following this with the gospel. We must speak the truth with love!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We must not abstain from telling our friends and family this vital truth followed with the gospel!
Now I want to mention one more thing.
When speaking the truth of the gospel to people there will be persecution. Jesus said so himself...... No servant is greater than his master, and if they persecuted Him they will persecute you too. You can look back at history and in scripture, and you will see all kinds of persecution. People have been ridiculed, boiled, beheaded, hit, kicked, spat on, crucified, and stoned. But these are the marks of Christ, and we will not be exempt from the cup that our Lord Himself drank from. Besides if you are rejected for the name of Christ, you are blessed. (1 Peter 3:14 ; 1 Peter 4:14, 16).
I know this was alittle extreme, but this is what was on my mind today and for the past few days.
More to come......soon
The organization of this blog may be off, hehehe...
It is now 9:47 am, and I think it's alittle early to be typing this now, but with thoughts from this morning I just couldn't wait. I woke up early this morning and had a quiet time, and had some interesting thoughts about Godless men and Prayer! (By the way, the two subjects aren't linked in anyway.)
I started off reading Daniel Chapter 9 this morning and Daniel's prayer really popped out at me! I was intrigued by the way he prayed to God. Daniel completely humbled himself before God with fasting, sackcloth attire, and ashes. Daniel began to praise God for what He had done in the past, and also admitted his faults and the faults of his Countrymen! In addition to his humility, Daniel came boldly before God with requests on behalf of Israel! But what really got me was the fact that Daniel wasn't just plainly asking God for forgiveness of his countrymen...no... he was demanding it! He came before the creator of the universe demanding blessings!!! How cool is that? He was extremely humble in the process of it too, and God granted his request! When I think about this there seems to be a wave of irony associated with this! How can a mere man come before God with total confidence and demand blessings?! Lol. This is found specifically in Daniel 9:15-19. Prayer in this Fashion is also done by the believers in Acts 4:28-30, by the Lord Jesus Himself in John 17. There are more examples all over scripture, but those were some of the ones that came to mind immediately. Approach God's throne with boldness believing that he will answer! If God doesn't give us what we request, he may be telling us no, or wait, but I trust that it will make sense to the saint why God will not answer a prayer.
Afterwards I read some of the book of Jude, and again something caught my attention....Godless men!!! Jude 8-16 Talks about Unrighteous/Godless men and the judgement that will eventually come to them! I will make this short. Everyday we are surrounded by unrighteous Godless people, alot of us are close friends with them. Now the point I want to make is that we should warn these people of God's judgement... Yes! We should warn them, and this reminds me of Ezekiel 33:7-9. Following this warning, we should follow up with the truth of the gospel. Many people have been told that they are a sinner and that they are going to hell, and they have been greatly offended by this. I've run into individuals who were bitter towards Christians because someone has told them that. This is because the truth was not fully spoken and was not spoken in love! In reality the unbeliever may have been told that he or she is going to hell out of malice and cruelty or just plain coldness. We must speak the truth in love! While it is true that if someone is not trusting Christ they are headed for hell, but WE MUST TELL PEOPLE WHY!!! We must give them the whole truth, and the truth is that we are all transgressors of God's law. God does not overlook sin but instead, he must provide punishment for those sins. For the wages of sin is death. By no means will God let those who are not forgiven of their sins into heaven, and there are two places where one can only go after judgement! We must warn people of this and speak the truth in love followed by the gospel! Now by typing this, I am reminded of what I talked about with an acquaintance during my ride back down to Gainesville. Here is the Gist of the story......
I was in the car with a friend and his friend. I'll call him D. I opened up a spiritual conversation with D and he told me that he was an agnostic/athiest, then he told me that someone told him that he needed to repent or he was going to hell......ok....But then he proceeded to proclaim his goodness. He told me that he was no Hitler, he only stole once, he was honest MOST of the time, and that he stayed away from extreme stuff. Now what's wrong with this picture? Someone warned him of God's wrath, but he did not indicate that he knew why God would send someone to hell!!!!! D is like a blind man headed toward a cliff!!!!! He thinks he will be ok if there is a God when he is judged, but in reality he is not forgiven for his sin, and only through Jesus can he be forgiven!!! We must warn these people of God's wrath, but we must also tell them WHY they are headed for God's wrath following this with the gospel. We must speak the truth with love!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We must not abstain from telling our friends and family this vital truth followed with the gospel!
Now I want to mention one more thing.
When speaking the truth of the gospel to people there will be persecution. Jesus said so himself...... No servant is greater than his master, and if they persecuted Him they will persecute you too. You can look back at history and in scripture, and you will see all kinds of persecution. People have been ridiculed, boiled, beheaded, hit, kicked, spat on, crucified, and stoned. But these are the marks of Christ, and we will not be exempt from the cup that our Lord Himself drank from. Besides if you are rejected for the name of Christ, you are blessed. (1 Peter 3:14 ; 1 Peter 4:14, 16).
I know this was alittle extreme, but this is what was on my mind today and for the past few days.
More to come......soon
Sunday, November 27, 2005
What is really inside?
11/27/05
This is a collection of my thoughts, it may not even make sense!Hmm... many things have been running through my mind for the past few months. I can't get into all of them right now, but I would like to through a few of them out there.
I woke up alittle later than usual this morning at 10 am, went to church (GCL). The information from the teaching was wonderful... I always wondered why the gospel of Thomas was rejected hehehee. It sounded like the gospel was mixed with a bit of Eastern philosophy........... is God everything? Is the creator also the creation? Nope! I just thought that was interesting to point out.
I feel like I'm standing at a cross road right now on where God wants me to be in the future. There are a handful of options and I know what my heart wants right now. It would be easy to just follow it and make a decision right?! I wish it were, but it's not....... let me explain what some of the deal is yo. Here is some Background.When I first came to UF during the Summer of 2004, I already had it set in my mind what I was going to major in. I wanted to be a microbiologist. This decision came with no guidance from God seeing as though I was not a Christian at the time, but it seemed like the right choice according to my interests. Now lets fast forward about year and a half. Its fall of 2005, my heart has changed because of the outpouring of God upon me, I no longer look at the world the way I used to, including people for that matter. But let me cut to the point! My heart for God and this lost world is BIG! My thoughts, aspirations, goals, dreams, ambitions, desires, and whatever else stem from what God has put on my heart. I want to direct my future according to what God wants, but at the time I am not 100% sure on which way I should go. I believe the rumblings of my heart provide a good clue though *Smiles*. The big question is... should I enter full time ministry or should I pursue the career as a microbiologist?
At this point I see science as nothing more than a kind of hobby. My interest in it has taken kind of a plummet, but my heart for God has grown exponentially lol. Hey, check out Matthew chapter 10! I could totally picture myself doing what Jesus sent the Disciples out to do yo!!!!!!!!!!! Every time I read that I get a wave of excitement, heheheheheheheheeheh! I want to do what would honor God the most though!!! I want to lay down my life!!!!! Judging from where my heart is, I want to serve God full time. My heart aches when I think about the decay that is all over the world...........I have many more interesting thoughts and what not, but I will come with more later! Until next time!
This is a collection of my thoughts, it may not even make sense!Hmm... many things have been running through my mind for the past few months. I can't get into all of them right now, but I would like to through a few of them out there.
I woke up alittle later than usual this morning at 10 am, went to church (GCL). The information from the teaching was wonderful... I always wondered why the gospel of Thomas was rejected hehehee. It sounded like the gospel was mixed with a bit of Eastern philosophy........... is God everything? Is the creator also the creation? Nope! I just thought that was interesting to point out.
I feel like I'm standing at a cross road right now on where God wants me to be in the future. There are a handful of options and I know what my heart wants right now. It would be easy to just follow it and make a decision right?! I wish it were, but it's not....... let me explain what some of the deal is yo. Here is some Background.When I first came to UF during the Summer of 2004, I already had it set in my mind what I was going to major in. I wanted to be a microbiologist. This decision came with no guidance from God seeing as though I was not a Christian at the time, but it seemed like the right choice according to my interests. Now lets fast forward about year and a half. Its fall of 2005, my heart has changed because of the outpouring of God upon me, I no longer look at the world the way I used to, including people for that matter. But let me cut to the point! My heart for God and this lost world is BIG! My thoughts, aspirations, goals, dreams, ambitions, desires, and whatever else stem from what God has put on my heart. I want to direct my future according to what God wants, but at the time I am not 100% sure on which way I should go. I believe the rumblings of my heart provide a good clue though *Smiles*. The big question is... should I enter full time ministry or should I pursue the career as a microbiologist?
At this point I see science as nothing more than a kind of hobby. My interest in it has taken kind of a plummet, but my heart for God has grown exponentially lol. Hey, check out Matthew chapter 10! I could totally picture myself doing what Jesus sent the Disciples out to do yo!!!!!!!!!!! Every time I read that I get a wave of excitement, heheheheheheheheeheh! I want to do what would honor God the most though!!! I want to lay down my life!!!!! Judging from where my heart is, I want to serve God full time. My heart aches when I think about the decay that is all over the world...........I have many more interesting thoughts and what not, but I will come with more later! Until next time!
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