It's eating me!

I just woke up this morning and the pervading thought of my heart was this.......... speaking to the souls of people about Jesus Christ! It is eating at me day after day and it is distracting me (Is this really a distraction? This seems like almost an insult!). It is burdening me more than any ministry than I am involved in at the moment yet I cannot seem to continuously follow through it. Oh sure, I go out twice a week for evangelistic outreach and have experienced mild results, but there is more and I feel as though the Lord is wanting to push me further! My motivation is not merely results, but it is all-out obedience to the heavenly burden given by Christ! How do I know that this is from heaven?! Am I 100% sure? I walk by faith and the most convincing evidence are my journal entries of the past three years! I talk about evangelism and gospel preaching frequently. Through seeking the Lord and reading His word this is still something that permeates me! I am scared to death though, and I can come up with many excuses as to why I should not reach the world around me with the gospel. I do not like to say this but I believe it to be the truth: I am an evangelist at heart. If you know me and are reading this then this probably comes to no surprise to you, but I blush when I admit this for some reason...

Because of these things, I live in almost constant discomfort everyday. I am disobedient to the burden which I believe is from the Lord, but I have found a way to suppress it with other thoughts about school, life, and personal comforts. This has kept me from being driven crazy. This sounds bad and it is but I value my humanity, earthliness, reputation, and comfort. What a wretched man I am! I cannot escape from it even with all of the power that I can muster! I am tied to the wharf of self will as I strenuously paddle my small boat. I paddle and paddle and paddle tiring myself out only to see that I have not gone anywhere because I am tied to the wharf! Oh Lord help me cut it, the seas may be dangerous but the wharf of inactivity is not where you want me to be! There is a dying world out there going to hell and all I can say is I'm scared and uncomfortable! I cannot love the lost properly or say that I do without their eternal destiny at the forefront of my mind. If I am too afraid to speak about the Savior Jesus Christ then I will not speak too much at all. I will withdraw myself and push down the urge, showing no love whatsoever! I must speak, I must speak, I must speak!

Jeremiah 20:8-9- 8:

For whenever I speak, I cry out,
I shout, "Violence and destruction!"
For the word of the LORD has become for me
a reproach and derision all day long.
If I say, "I will not mention him,
or speak any more in his name,"
there is in my heart as it were a burning fire
shut up in my bones,
and I am weary with holding it in,
and I cannot.

Until next time, God bless you!

Four Keys to growing in maturity as a disciple

Hey, here are four keys for becoming a stronger disciple of Jesus Christ. This is from Jaeson Ma's blog, http://jaesonma.com/index.html . Jaeson Ma is an on fire believer for the Lord and I thought that I would keep what he posted for my own records. Here are the four simple keys:

Dear Bros and Sis,

I pray each of you will grow into strong and mature disciples of Jesus Christ by keeping these 4 key Biblical principles below active in your life. This is what the early Christians committed to in the New Testament and the Church grew in power and their lives changed the world. We must also commit to the below. I have done the four following things in my life since I was born again 10 years ago, and by practicing these four keys I have become a stronger and stronger disciple of Jesus Christ.

Click to go to the Wheel Illustration

"And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers." Acts 2:42

1. Pray Continually

Talk to God and let God talk to you. Everyday, every moment, pray continually. Find a specific time daily to be quite and pray with the Holy Spirit. Then talk to the Holy Spirit and listen to His voice throughout the day.

2. Love & Live the Word of God

Be committed to studying God's word like your life depended on it. Without it, we cannot know God's will. All success goes back to how obedient we are to knowing and doing God's will found in His Scriptures. Love the Word and Do it!

3. Share Christ w/ Someone Daily

Everyday, ask God to give you the opportunity to share the Gospel with someone. Look for open doors to share the Gospel with everyone you meet.

4. Fellowship with other Believers

You must be committed to a local church. People are like elevators they either take you up or take you down. You must be consistently in fellowship with other disciples of Christ in order to be held accountable, to be encouraged and to grow in your walk.

If you practice these 4 keys daily and continually in your life, I guarantee you that you will grow into a strong disciple of Jesus Christ. Ultimately, we must all be surrendered to His Lordship and follow Him at whatever the cost. Amen.

A prayer a friend sent me recently, let it challenge and inspire you to pursue Christ with your all.

The Wesleyan Covenant Prayer
I am no longer my own, but yours.
Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for you or laid aside for you,
exalted for you or brought low for you.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things to your pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
You are mine, and I am yours.
So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.